Final Destination 3

"Terrible"

Final Destination 3 Review


Just from the marketing you can tell Final Destination 3 is scraping the bottom of the film franchise barrel. With a tagline like "This ride will be the death of you" you can almost hear the cheesy jokes coming. And with a poster that looks it's shilling for Cedar Point, you get a glimpse of the misguided campiness of the movie.

With Final Destination 3, first impressions are good impressions.

The movie starts with a high school trip to an unnamed amusement park, where we get a flurry of cheap introductions to cardboard characters. There's Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), the control freak. There's Kevin, the hapless and stupid looking jock (Ryan Merriman). There's the stereotypically pissed-off macho other jock, Lewis (Texas Battle). There's your pair of bimbos: Ashley and Ashlynn (Chelan Simmons and Crystal Lowe). There's the hornball that lusts after them in vain -- Frankie (Sam Easton). And finally there's your pair of know-it-all goth kids Erin and Ian (Alexz Johnson and Kris Lemche).

These characters really are as cardboard as they sound... almost everyone except Wendy and Kevin appear only in the opening scene and just as they're getting done in. In fact they are so cardboard that the filmmakers actually only cast the actors a week before the filming began. I guess they figured the actors would just learn on the job.

As in every Final Destination movie, one especially clairvoyant kid on an adolescent outing of some sort has a vision in which there's a horrible accident about to take place. The first was a plane that exploded. The second was an interstate pileup. These are both realistic and completely out of someone's control. In this one, Wendy sees some schmuck drop a camera onto a rickety rollercoaster with hydraulics issues. Just looking at the different circumstances, this is both the least creative and the least likely of the three. It also has a plot hole you could fly a 747 through -- the schmuck (and the video camera he drops) both get off of the roller coaster after the control freak pictures everyone's death.

The rest of the pieces are spelled out pretty quickly for us. Kevin manages to do enough online research to explain the rules of the game to Wendy (you're screwed, unless you manage to save someone else, and then you're screwed six to eight months later), who doesn't believe them until Ashley and Ashlynn get tanned to death (I wish I was joking). She then figures out that the photo of Ashley and Ashlynn from the high school trip was a clue to their death. She also notices that lights flicker, wind blows, and any nearby radios get tuned to a creepy song.

The whole "there's a clue in the picture" is the source of most of the cheesiness that oozes throughout the rest of the movie. Her initial "evidence" of this is a crease on the last photo of Lincoln before he was shot and a blur in a photo of the Twin Towers just before they got hit. But it gets hard to keep a straight face as you see two actors that look like they just got out of a high school play try to scrutinize a photo of a strong man and a sultan with a saber for clues. I'm moderately sure the whole device exists only as a way to give product placement time to a digital camera I refuse to name.

In the end Final Destination 3 takes away the only joys its predecessors had - the borderline camp that's actually funny and those unexpected means of death. The third installment lays its cheese on thicker than Philadelphia cream, and you can see half of the deaths coming a mile away. It's too silly to be creepy and too lame to be funny. It's just pure, 100% grade-D gunk.

Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer.



Final Destination 3

Facts and Figures

Run time: 93 mins

In Theaters: Friday 10th February 2006

Box Office USA: $54.1M

Box Office Worldwide: $54.1M

Budget: $25M

Distributed by: New Line Cinema

Production compaines: New Line Cinema, Zide-Perry Productions

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 43%
Fresh: 50 Rotten: 65

IMDB: 5.8 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Wendy Christensen, as Kevin Fischer, Kris Lemche as Ian McKinley, Alexz Johnson as Erin Ulmer, Sam Easton as Frankie Cheeks, as Jason Wise, Gina Holden as Carrie Dreyer, Texas Battle as Lewis Romero, as Ashley Freund, Crystal Lowe as Ashlyn Halperin, as Julie Christensen, Maggie Ma as Perry Malinowski, Ecstasia Sanders as Amber Regan, Jody Racicot as Bludworth, as Colquitt

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Imperium Movie Review

Imperium Movie Review

First-time filmmaker Daniel Ragussis takes an unusual approach to this thriller. Since it's based on...

The Girl With All the Gifts Movie Review

The Girl With All the Gifts Movie Review

Like a 10-years-later follow-up to 28 Days Later, this small British thriller takes a refreshingly...

The Magnificent Seven Movie Review

The Magnificent Seven Movie Review

Director Antoine Fuqua brings his usual fascination with violence to this remake of the iconic...

Bridget Jones's Baby Movie Review

Bridget Jones's Baby Movie Review

As it's been 12 years since the last Bridget Jones movie, expectations aren't too high...

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years Movie Review

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years Movie Review

A-list director Ron Howard worked with the surviving Beatles to assemble this engaging documentary, which...

Blair Witch Movie Review

Blair Witch Movie Review

It's been 17 years since The Blair Witch Project shook up the cinema and created...

Anthropoid Movie Review

Anthropoid Movie Review

Outside the Czech Republic, few people know about Operation Anthropoid, a spy mission in 1943...

Advertisement
Kubo and the Two Strings Movie Review

Kubo and the Two Strings Movie Review

From Laika (The Boxtrolls), this is one of the most beautiful, sophisticated animated films in...

Captain Fantastic Movie Review

Captain Fantastic Movie Review

An offbeat comedy-drama with a timely kick, this charming family road trip takes on some...

Hell or High Water Movie Review

Hell or High Water Movie Review

Sicario screenwriter Taylor Sheridan delivers another fiercely intelligent, engaging story that maintains high suspense while...

The 9th Life of Louis Drax Movie Review

The 9th Life of Louis Drax Movie Review

With heavy overtones of Hitchcockian mystery and intrigue, this stylish thriller is the enjoyably melodramatic...

Kickboxer: Vengeance Movie Review

Kickboxer: Vengeance Movie Review

The 1989 Muay Thai action movie Kickboxer starred a young Jean-Claude Van Damme, who pops...

Julieta Movie Review

Julieta Movie Review

Iconic Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar is back with another powerfully complex female-centred drama, along the...

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Movie Review

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Movie Review

An astute satire of the pop music business, this raucous mock-documentary is consistently hilarious from...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.