Eternal (2004)

"Good"

Eternal (2004) Review


Do you like vampires? Do you like lesbians? Have I got a movie for you!

Canadian newcomers Wilhelm Liebenberg and Federico Sanchez (say that five times fast) have come out of nowhere with this bizarre, sometimes fascinating, and often infuriating indepedent, without a doubt one of the strangest vampire movie I've seen since Dracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary.

Set in modern-day Montreal, the film opens with a retelling of the legend of an ancient vampiress from Slovakia, who seduced other women and drank their blood. Could it be that she's not only alive 400 years later, but she's also Canadian? When the wife of cop Raymond Pope (Conrad Pla, desperately missing a consonant from his name) disappears, the case leads Pope to one Elizabeth Kane (Caroline Néron), a statuesque blonde who's obviously hiding something about wifey.

Pope quickly slides into Elizabeth's world, and the body count keeps up with the number of sex scenes involving Elizabeth, none of which involve her actually taking off her clothes. Eventually, Pope himself is looking like the suspect in a number of slayings, from his partner's wife (with whom he's having a bondage-laden affair) to his 16-year-old babysitter (played by 24-year-old Liane Balaban). Just as Pope is about to be put in jail, he vanishes, tracks Elizabeth down in Venice, of all places, and -- maybe -- stops the madness. Hey Canada, that's some airport security system you got there!

Eternal is gorgeous to look at, and I'll never figure out how Liebenberg and Sanchez managed to land some of the greatest locations in Montreal for this indie shoot. They also got some unquestionably gorgeous actresses, most of whom seem to have a base level of acting ability to draw upon. But their script -- gee, where do you begin to start talking about this thing? Half real, half fantasy... not much of Eternal makes any sense at all, and Pope's police work is some of the shoddiest on screen, ever. He drops by Elizabeth's palace, asks a couple of questions, passes out, then goes home. After another person vanishes, Pope comes back the next day, tries to get it on with Liz, and goes home again. The cycle repeats on auto-pilot for the entire film, with sheer coincidence (a book in a Venice shop draws Pope's eye at random) driving Pope to the next plot point.

I don't know much about Liebenberg and Sanchez, but its clear their talents lie in producing and cinematography, not in screenwriting.

This way to the coat room.



Facts and Figures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 3 / 5

Cast & Crew

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Swallows and Amazons Movie Review

Swallows and Amazons Movie Review

After a number of films, TV series and stage adaptations, Arthur Ransome's beloved 1930 novel...

David Brent: Life on the Road Movie Review

David Brent: Life on the Road Movie Review

The original BBC sitcom The Office ran for 14 episodes from 2001 to 2003, and...

The Childhood of a Leader Movie Review

The Childhood of a Leader Movie Review

Bold and intelligent, this dark drama is a challenging portrait of the making of an...

Pete's Dragon Movie Review

Pete's Dragon Movie Review

This hugely enjoyable adventure is a loose remake of the 1977 Disney hit that blended...

The Shallows Movie Review

The Shallows Movie Review

With a simple premise and plenty of visual style, Spanish filmmaker Jaume Collet-Serra (Unknown) takes...

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Movie Review

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Movie Review

Watching this gross-out comedy, it's clear that the gifted cast and crew had a great...

Nerve Movie Review

Nerve Movie Review

With a premise that feels almost eerily current, this stylish thriller revolves around a phone...

Advertisement
The Carer Movie Review

The Carer Movie Review

Brian Cox gets the role of a lifetime in this warm comedy about living life...

Born to Be Blue Movie Review

Born to Be Blue Movie Review

Writer-director Robert Budreau takes a stylised approach to this biopic of the legendary jazz artist...

Jason Bourne Movie Review

Jason Bourne Movie Review

It's been nine years since Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass collaborated on The Bourne Ultimatum,...

The Commune [Kollektivet] Movie Review

The Commune [Kollektivet] Movie Review

Veteran Danish filmmaker Thomas Vinterberg (Festen, The Hunt) returns to a smaller homegrown story after...

The BFG Movie Review

The BFG Movie Review

For his adaptation of the Roald Dahl classic, Steven Spielberg reunited with screenwriter Melissa Mathison,...

Finding Dory Movie Review

Finding Dory Movie Review

It's been 13 years since the release of the Disney/Pixar hit Finding Nemo, and filmmaker...

Star Trek Beyond Movie Review

Star Trek Beyond Movie Review

This is where the Star Trek franchise officially shifts from thoughtful drama into thunderous action....

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.