Coyote Ugly

"Weak"

Coyote Ugly Review


To understand the horror of Coyote Ugly is to understand how it was made.

It's 1993. Some Hollywood bigshot reads an article in GQ magazine about a nutty bar called the Coyote Ugly in Manhattan. They only have women bartenders, see, and they, like, dance on the bar with fire and stuff! And they don't serve water. If someone orders water they hose down the crowd! Holy mackerel, what a nutty place!

And then someone says, What a nutty place... for a movie! Cart in a screenwriter who invents a story about, say, a puppy-eyed girl from New Jersey who winds up working at the Ugly while trying to make it as a songwriter. Make up some obstacles: she has stage fright, she gets robbed, and her dad is fat. Pop in a troubled love interest. Toss in a bunch of heaving-bosomed women to dance on the bar, get Jerry Bruckheimer to produce, spend $40 million on advertising, and the movie's done!

But oops, someone forgot to make the movie any good along the way. Cliché-infested and so utterly tired and worn out as to make itself appear a relic of the early 1980s, Coyote Ugly is just plain bad. It almost seems like they decided to take a real-life place and tried to build a movie around it. Er, uh, wait a minute...

Piper Perabo, one of the most frightening newcomers to hit Hollywood in the last decade, plays our young heroine, who faces obstacle after obstacle en route to what must ultimately become ridiculous success beyond her wildest dreams. Note to Piper: Let's see if we can't dye the eyebrows to match the hair, shall we? Perabo's role is so badly acted it would be cause for raspberries galore were it not for an even worse script.

Newcomers like Adam Garcia (the love interest) and wannabes like Maria Bello (the bar owner) do their best with lines like "I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you," but to no avail. Their hearts aren't in the movie, and for good reason: No nudity.

Er, I mean: A really awful story that feels ripped from The Bold and the Beautiful. Does fat dad (John Goodman) really need to be hospitalized to build drama? Would someone really rob poor Piper's rodent-infested Chinatown apartment? Would anyone really stop fighting in an all-out bar brawl to listen to the girl sing-along with the jukebox? I'd say all that was missing in Coyote Ugly was a wedding, but they squeezed one of those in there too.

For those not following along, Bruckheimer is essentially trying to remake his own Flashdance, which made an incredible $95 million back in 1983. They even dump water on the bartenders, "Maniac" style. And I think it's safe to predict that Perabo's career will likely follow that of her predecessor, Jennifer Beals. In other words: Hello, Cinemax!

Come to think of it, that's probably where most people will end up seeing this movie.

One of the strangest "unrated" edition DVDs to come along -- ever. For starters, the original was only rated PG-13. Nevertheless, this rendition is far raunchier, with a restored sex scene with Perabo and Garcia, and more profanity, especially in the songs. Alas, anyone expecting that scandalous orgy with the Coyote girls is going to be sorely disappointed. Deleted scenes and a commentary track (from just about everyone involved in the film) highlight the extras. A handful of featurettes and documentaries round out the disc. Strangely recommended or not. Or something.

She's a maniac on the bar.



Coyote Ugly

Facts and Figures

Run time: 100 mins

In Theaters: Friday 4th August 2000

Box Office USA: $59.8M

Box Office Worldwide: $113.9M

Budget: $80M

Distributed by: Buena Vista Pictures

Production compaines: Jerry Bruckheimer Films

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 2 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 22%
Fresh: 21 Rotten: 75

IMDB: 5.6 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: David McNally

Starring: as Violet Sanford, as Kevin O'Donnell, as Bill, as Cammie, as Zoe, as Lil, Greg Collins as Coyote Ugly Bar Patron, Chip Chinery as Cop, as Photographer, Stephanie Hodge as Dancing Girl in Bar, Carla Alapont as Dancing Girl in Bar, as Girl at the Surprise Party, as Bidding Customer, as Gloria, as Bidding Customer, JJ Snyder as Bidding Customer, as Fiji Mermaid Worker

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power Movie Review

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power Movie Review

It's been a decade since Al Gore's wake-up-call documentary won the Oscar. And here he...

The Hitman's Bodyguard Movie Review

The Hitman's Bodyguard Movie Review

It really doesn't matter that this movie is utterly ridiculous, because the central pairing of...

Final Portrait Movie Review

Final Portrait Movie Review

A relaxed, amusing true story about noted Swiss painter and sculptor Alberto Giacometti, this sharply...

Tom of Finland Movie Review

Tom of Finland Movie Review

Finnish artist Tuoko Laaksonen used the name "Tom of Finland" as he drew explicit illustrations...

A Ghost Story Movie Review

A Ghost Story Movie Review

Filmmaker David Lowery reunites the stars from his offbeat Western Ain't Them Bodies Saints for...

Atomic Blonde Movie Review

Atomic Blonde Movie Review

From the co-director of John Wick, this similarly styled action romp puts Charlize Theron front...

Girls Trip Movie Review

Girls Trip Movie Review

This movie's premise basically sounds like The Hangover with added black girl power. But it's...

Advertisement
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Movie Review

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Movie Review

There's so much manic energy in this animated action comedy that it can't help but...

The Big Sick Movie Review

The Big Sick Movie Review

It may be rather long for a romantic comedy, but this film has such a...

The Emoji Movie Movie Review

The Emoji Movie Movie Review

There's no reason why this animated comedy adventure needed to be this pointless. Solidly entertaining...

England Is Mine Movie Review

England Is Mine Movie Review

While this is billed as a film about The Smiths' singer-songwriter Morrissey, it's actually an...

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Movie Review

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Movie Review

It's been 20 years since French filmmaker Luc Besson shook up the sci-fi genre with...

Dunkirk Movie Review

Dunkirk Movie Review

Britain's epic 1940 evacuation of Dunkirk has been dramatised on film before, but no one...

Killing Ground Movie Review

Killing Ground Movie Review

From Australia, this dark and edgy thriller is skilfully made by writer-director Damien Power to...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.