Caffeine

"Terrible"

Caffeine Review


Something's always brewing at the Black Cat Café, or so they say. The advertisers behind the new independent film Caffeine want us to believe there's plenty of activity at the quirky London café. Sadly, it's not so. In fact, it's so boring that even a double-shot espresso isn't strong enough to keep to your eyes open.

Caffeine follows a series of odd events during the lunch rush at the Black Cat Café, where one disaster after another is served up as the day's "blue plate special." For example, the cook (Callum Blue) is fired by the manager, Rachel (Marsha Thomason), after she finds out he's been unfaithful to her. Rachel has no one else qualified to cook, so she throws the chef's hat to a server named Tom (Mark Pellegrino), who can't even make lasagna from a written recipe. But Rachel has no other choices. Her two other employees, Vanessa (Mena Suvari) and Dylan (Breckin Meyer) spend more time on smoke breaks then they do serving coffee.

Fortunately for Rachel, she's very close to landing a new managerial job at an upscale restaurant; unfortunately, her potential employer is planning a site evaluation of the Black Cat Café during this chaotic lunch hour. And if things weren't bad enough with her incompetent staff, the café's dysfunctional clientele is making matters worse. First, there's the crazy woman who makes threats against an incoherent stoner with commitment issues. Next, there's the stoner's ex-girlfriend (a geeky Katherine Heigl) who shows up on a blind date with a womanizing man from hell. Then, there are the two businessmen, one who brings a furry friend with him to lunch and the other with closet behavior. And that's just half of the café!

Initially, I felt like Caffeine would be my cup of joe. The premise surrounding the cook's firing and the big inspection later in the day provides adequate potential for some big laughs as the staff copes with the crises in the kitchen. But Caffeine quickly loses direction with the disjointed restaurant operation and instead shifts its focus to the strange sexual behaviors of the oddballs dining in the café. While it turns out they all have many sexual idiosyncrasies, none of them are the least big interesting, engaging, or humorous. The camera switches between guests so frequently that it never feels like we're part of the any one conversation. Caffeine is all talk and no action.

We never feel the sense of urgency or stress when it comes to the cook's lack of skill or the staff's reluctance to serve the café's patrons. Rachel is clearly no manager: She can't keep her employees in line, nor can she keep the orders moving through the kitchen.Is anyone complaining about the food? What about the terrible service? Clearly better opportunities for laughs existed, maybe even involving a smaller subset of the café's customers.

Caffeine is so bad that even the ridiculous musical number that plays with the closing credits is a dud. Good luck trying to get a fresh cup of coffee with this one.

Don't cry. It's only a movie.



Caffeine

Facts and Figures

Run time: 92 mins

In Theaters: Friday 16th March 2007

Distributed by: First Look Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 5.7 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: John Cosgrove

Producer: John Cosgrove, Jo Levi

Starring: as Rachel, as Vanessa, as Charlie, as Tom, Roz Witt as Lucy, Andrew-Lee Potts as Mike, as Danny, as Dylan, Sonya Walger as Gloria, Orlando Seale as Mark, Brian J. Watson as Porn Star, as Laura, as Steve, Andrew Ableson as John, as David

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Cars 3 Movie Review

Cars 3 Movie Review

It's been six years since the last Cars movie (there were two Planes movies in...

The Beguiled Movie Review

The Beguiled Movie Review

In her inimitable loose style, Sofia Coppola remakes the 1971 Clint Eastwood movie from a...

War for the Planet of the Apes Movie Review

War for the Planet of the Apes Movie Review

The surprisingly thoughtful prequel trilogy comes to a powerful conclusion with this robust, dramatic thriller,...

It Comes At Night Movie Review

It Comes At Night Movie Review

This sharply original horror film not only approaches its premise from an unexpected angle, but...

Okja Movie Review

Okja Movie Review

As Tilda Swinton reteams with her Snowpiercer director, Korea's Bong Joon Ho, it's perhaps unsurprising...

Spider-Man: Homecoming Movie Review

Spider-Man: Homecoming Movie Review

This may be the third reboot of this franchise in 15 years, risking audience exhaustion,...

Despicable Me 3 Movie Review

Despicable Me 3 Movie Review

Actually the fourth film in the series (don't forget the prequel Minions), this animated super-villain...

Advertisement
Baby Driver Movie Review

Baby Driver Movie Review

Wildly energetic and so cool it hurts, this action movie has been put together in...

All Eyez On Me Movie Review

All Eyez On Me Movie Review

There's a clear sense that this Tupac Shakur biopic is hoping to build on the...

Hampstead Movie Review

Hampstead Movie Review

Deliberately appealing to older audiences, this undemanding comedy-drama comes with a hint of social relevance...

The Book of Henry Movie Review

The Book of Henry Movie Review

Apparently, this offbeat script had been making the rounds in Hollywood for some 20 years...

Transformers: The Last Knight Movie Review

Transformers: The Last Knight Movie Review

With this fifth Transformers movie, it seems clear that Michael Bay is still trying to...

Churchill Movie Review

Churchill Movie Review

This drama about the iconic British prime minister tells a darkly personal story set over...

Gifted Movie Review

Gifted Movie Review

This is one of those films that dances right up to the edge of soapy...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.