Caffeine

"Terrible"

Caffeine Review


Something's always brewing at the Black Cat Café, or so they say. The advertisers behind the new independent film Caffeine want us to believe there's plenty of activity at the quirky London café. Sadly, it's not so. In fact, it's so boring that even a double-shot espresso isn't strong enough to keep to your eyes open.

Caffeine follows a series of odd events during the lunch rush at the Black Cat Café, where one disaster after another is served up as the day's "blue plate special." For example, the cook (Callum Blue) is fired by the manager, Rachel (Marsha Thomason), after she finds out he's been unfaithful to her. Rachel has no one else qualified to cook, so she throws the chef's hat to a server named Tom (Mark Pellegrino), who can't even make lasagna from a written recipe. But Rachel has no other choices. Her two other employees, Vanessa (Mena Suvari) and Dylan (Breckin Meyer) spend more time on smoke breaks then they do serving coffee.

Fortunately for Rachel, she's very close to landing a new managerial job at an upscale restaurant; unfortunately, her potential employer is planning a site evaluation of the Black Cat Café during this chaotic lunch hour. And if things weren't bad enough with her incompetent staff, the café's dysfunctional clientele is making matters worse. First, there's the crazy woman who makes threats against an incoherent stoner with commitment issues. Next, there's the stoner's ex-girlfriend (a geeky Katherine Heigl) who shows up on a blind date with a womanizing man from hell. Then, there are the two businessmen, one who brings a furry friend with him to lunch and the other with closet behavior. And that's just half of the café!

Initially, I felt like Caffeine would be my cup of joe. The premise surrounding the cook's firing and the big inspection later in the day provides adequate potential for some big laughs as the staff copes with the crises in the kitchen. But Caffeine quickly loses direction with the disjointed restaurant operation and instead shifts its focus to the strange sexual behaviors of the oddballs dining in the café. While it turns out they all have many sexual idiosyncrasies, none of them are the least big interesting, engaging, or humorous. The camera switches between guests so frequently that it never feels like we're part of the any one conversation. Caffeine is all talk and no action.

We never feel the sense of urgency or stress when it comes to the cook's lack of skill or the staff's reluctance to serve the café's patrons. Rachel is clearly no manager: She can't keep her employees in line, nor can she keep the orders moving through the kitchen.Is anyone complaining about the food? What about the terrible service? Clearly better opportunities for laughs existed, maybe even involving a smaller subset of the café's customers.

Caffeine is so bad that even the ridiculous musical number that plays with the closing credits is a dud. Good luck trying to get a fresh cup of coffee with this one.

Don't cry. It's only a movie.



Caffeine

Facts and Figures

Run time: 92 mins

In Theaters: Friday 16th March 2007

Distributed by: First Look Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 5.7 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: John Cosgrove

Producer: John Cosgrove, Jo Levi

Starring: as Rachel, as Vanessa, as Charlie, as Tom, Roz Witt as Lucy, Andrew-Lee Potts as Mike, as Danny, as Dylan, Sonya Walger as Gloria, Orlando Seale as Mark, Brian J. Watson as Porn Star, as Laura, as Steve, Andrew Ableson as John, as David

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Colossal Movie Review

Colossal Movie Review

It's rare to find a movie that so defiantly refuses to be put into a...

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

It's unlikely that Guy Ritchie could make a boring movie if he wanted to. This...

Snatched Movie Review

Snatched Movie Review

It doesn't really matter that the script for this lively action-comedy is paper thin: teaming...

Jawbone Movie Review

Jawbone Movie Review

Boxing movies aren't usually this thoughtful. Sure, there are plenty of punchy moments in the...

Whisky Galore! Movie Review

Whisky Galore! Movie Review

Scottish filmmaker Gillies MacKinnon (Hideous Kinky) remakes the 1949 Ealing comedy classic, although it's difficult...

Alien: Covenant Movie Review

Alien: Covenant Movie Review

Master filmmaker Ridley Scott is back to continue the story 10 years after the events...

The Journey (2017) Movie Review

The Journey (2017) Movie Review

A fictionalised account of real events, this drama is reminiscent of Peter Morgan's work in...

Advertisement
Sleepless Movie Review

Sleepless Movie Review

In remaking the 2011 French thriller Sleepless Night, the filmmakers have dumbed down both the...

Unlocked Movie Review

Unlocked Movie Review

By injecting a steady sense of fun, this slick but mindless action thriller both holds...

Lady Macbeth Movie Review

Lady Macbeth Movie Review

A seriously impressive feature directing debut with a star-making central performance, this period British drama...

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Movie Review

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Movie Review

It was never going to be easy to match the impact of 2014's Guardians of...

The Promise Movie Review

The Promise Movie Review

The director of Hotel Rwanda, Terry George, turns to another humanitarian horror: the systematic murder...

Their Finest Movie Review

Their Finest Movie Review

Skilfully written, directed and acted, this offbeat British period film tells a story that catches...

Unforgettable Movie Review

Unforgettable Movie Review

With heavy echoes of trashy thrillers like Fatal Attraction, this movie overcomes its painfully simplistic...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.