Bats

"Bad"

Bats Review


As anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't shut up often. But, when the lights go down, my mouth clamps shut... Unless its a complete Z-grade movie like Bats.

Bats is one of those movies where you have to get popcorn just to throw it at the screen. It is one of those movies where you have to make fun of those little kids scared out of their wits three rows behind you on the other side of the theatre. Most of all, however, it is one of those movies where you have to provide a running commentary.

My theory on this is that, as the mind sees such a bad product, it begins to make some sense of it by turning it into a comedy. After all, any movie where I can emerge from the theatre saying "once again, man has made the world safe from small mammals" might just provide Post Traumatic Stress Disorder without a bit of sardonic humor implanted into it.

The plot of Bats is so very old that I had to wonder if the movie was vaulted. Vaulted is the industry term for a movie that was deemed unfit for release when it was made but is getting released now because a star or director of it had recent popularity.

Bats centers around two virus-infected carnivorous bats that were genetically altered by a mad scientist and are now infecting a good portion of the bat population around Gallup, Texas. Every night, they come out of their cave and attempt to eat everything in sight. Of course, even though they're supposed to be omnivorous, they skip right by the all-you-can-eat-buffet of grass and go straight for the Grade-A meat known as a fat Texan hick.

To stop these bats, Shelia Casper (Dina Meyer) and her assistant Jimmy (rapper Leon) team up with straw-chewing sheriff Emmett Kimsey (Lou Diamond Phillips). What follows is an hour and a half of your best one-liners, insulting a movie that begs for it.

For a vague approximation of how bad the movie actually is, think back to all of those schlock horror films of the 1980s. You know the ones I'm talking about... the films that made people stop making horror films (and then Kevin Williamson came along with Scream).

Better yet, think to any episode you might have watched of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the show where three individuals are forced to watch the worst movies in history and end up cracking jokes on them. When you think in this frame of mind, it's easy to figure out what it will be like watching the film. You will find that you have inside of you more great one-line insults then you ever imagined! Your creativity will be honed!

For this reason, I say that Bats is a fine film to see with a group of friends. Go ahead and watch it, but don't expect thrills. Don't expect chills. Expect laughs... at what comes out of your best friend's mouth.

Dina bites... er, gets bitten.



Bats

Facts and Figures

Run time: 91 mins

In Theaters: Friday 22nd October 1999

Distributed by: Destination Films

Production compaines: Destination Films

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 17%
Fresh: 7 Rotten: 35

IMDB: 3.6 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Louis Morneau

Starring: as Sheriff Emmett Kimsey, as Dr. Sheila Casper, as Dr. Alexander McCabe, as Jimmy Sands, as Dr. Tobe Hodge, David McConnell as Deputy Wesley Munn, Marcia Dangerfield as Mayor Amanda Branson, Oscar Rowland as Dr. Swanbeck, Juliana Johnson as Emma, as Sergeant James, as Major Reid, George Gerdes as Chaswick

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Churchill Movie Review

Churchill Movie Review

This drama about the iconic British prime minister tells a darkly personal story set over...

Gifted Movie Review

Gifted Movie Review

This is one of those films that dances right up to the edge of soapy...

Whitney: Can I Be Me Movie Review

Whitney: Can I Be Me Movie Review

Notorious British filmmaker Nick Broomfield teams up with Austrian music documentary producer Rudi Dolezal to...

The Mummy Movie Review

The Mummy Movie Review

To launch their new Dark Universe franchise, Universal has taken an approach that mixes murky...

My Cousin Rachel Movie Review

My Cousin Rachel Movie Review

Daphne du Maurier's 1951 mystery-romance novel has been adapted for theatre, radio, TV and film,...

Wilson Movie Review

Wilson Movie Review

It's never helpful when a comedy becomes a bit too smug about its own quirkiness....

Interlude in Prague Movie Review

Interlude in Prague Movie Review

A fictionalised story from the life of Wolfgang Mozart, this lavishly produced period drama is...

Advertisement
The Hippopotamus Movie Review

The Hippopotamus Movie Review

This British satirical comedy may be a bit of a mess, but since it's based...

Detour Movie Review

Detour Movie Review

This may look like a rather typical American indie thriller, but British filmmaker Christopher Smith...

Wonder Woman Movie Review

Wonder Woman Movie Review

Boldly optimistic, this action-packed adventure breathes fresh life into the DC universe with a welcome...

Baywatch Movie Review

Baywatch Movie Review

Clearly, it's a risky proposition adapting a cheesy vintage TV series for the big screen:...

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Movie Review

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Movie Review

Subtitled Salazar's Revenge in the UK, this fifth film in the long-running series never quite...

Colossal Movie Review

Colossal Movie Review

It's rare to find a movie that so defiantly refuses to be put into a...

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

It's unlikely that Guy Ritchie could make a boring movie if he wanted to. This...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.