101 Dalmatians

"Unbearable"

101 Dalmatians Review


Well, another new Disney movie is coming out and with it comes the theaters packed with screaming babies, very restless kids kicking your seat, and throngs of grownups providing running commentary of everything on the screen (to themselves, not the kids).

This is not a good thing. This time, the Disney movie is 101 Dalmatians, the live-action version, and if any movie could make me long for a quick and painless death, this is it.

In an era when we get smart "children's" movies like Babe, why does dreck like this have to continue to be made? The new 101 Dalmatians goes like this: Roger (Jeff Daniels) is a video game designer in London (where all the best video game designers live, I'm sure), and Anita (Joely Richardson) is a fashion designer in the employ of one Cruella DeVil (Glenn Close). Roger and Anita both have Dalmatians, and the super-smart dogs conspire to get Roger and Anita together. He proposes marriage an hour after he meets her, they get hitched, the Dalmatians have puppies, and Cruella decides she wants them for a coat. Cruella steals the happy couple's puppies plus a bunch more from other people. Dogs outwit baddies and escape, bringing down Cruella and her evil henchmen.

Well, la-dee-dah. This plot couldn't be less interesting if it was written by Home Alone's John Hughes. Oh, wait a minute! It was written by John Hughes! Silly me!!! In fact, 101 Dalmatians is almost exactly the same movie as Home Alone. Point in fact: Kid/dogs in trouble; bad guys chase him/them; kid/dogs end(s) up being much more resourceful; bad guys fall down a lot. Oh, funny!

Maybe you're saying, "Hey, this is a kid's movie! Lighten up!" Well, I don't think it's anywhere near being suitable for children, despite it's G rating -- there are blatant sex jokes, dead/dying animals, reactionary Puritanical attitudes (women should stay in the home), and downright destructive messages.

And this movie isn't for adults, either, because this next brick in the wall of the Disney empire is so dumbed-down it ends up just rotting the audience's brains. There's never any sense of "thrill" to this adventure, the acting is mundane, and I laughed at one single joke ("Who gets the gold?") But hey, this is Disney, and maybe brain rot is what they're aiming for! (Because then you'll pay to see next year's animated Hercules, which, from the trailer, looks even worse.)

So what do we learn from 101 Dalmatians? That your dog is smarter than you? That if your dog saves someone else's dog, you get to keep it? Who can say?

Hell, I'm a cat person, after all. So what do I know?

You see, these dogs really DID ruin the movie!



101 Dalmatians

Facts and Figures

Genre: Animation

Run time: 79 mins

In Theaters: Wednesday 25th January 1961

Distributed by: Buena Vista

Production compaines: Great Oaks Entertainment, Walt Disney Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 97%
Fresh: 36 Rotten: 1

IMDB: 7.2 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Cruella De Vil, as Roger, as Anita, as Nanny, as Jaspar

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Zoolander 2 Movie Review

Zoolander 2 Movie Review

With virtually the same blend of wit and idiocy as the 2001 original, this fashion-scene...

A Bigger Splash Movie Review

A Bigger Splash Movie Review

Italian filmmaker Luca Guadagnino (I Am Love) reteams with Tilda Swinton for this fresh, tricky...

Deadpool Movie Review

Deadpool Movie Review

Both the filmmakers and the characters on-screen are so pleased with themselves that this might...

Trumbo Movie Review

Trumbo Movie Review

An entertaining film about sobering true events, this is the story of notorious screenwriter Dalton...

Goosebumps Movie Review

Goosebumps Movie Review

Mixing the action, comedy and horror from novelist R.L. Stein's books into a family-friendly package,...

Dad's Army Movie Review

Dad's Army Movie Review

The beloved 1970s British sit-com gets the big screen treatment, although there's been very little...

Spotlight Movie Review

Spotlight Movie Review

This film demonstrates that you don't need guns to make an exciting thriller. Based on...

Advertisement
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Movie Review

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Movie Review

Not the subtlest director working in Hollywood, Michael Bay brings his surging machismo to this...

Dirty Grandpa Movie Review

Dirty Grandpa Movie Review

There's nothing clever about this deliberately rude and vulgar comedy, but certain audiences will find...

The Big Short Movie Review

The Big Short Movie Review

Smart and snappy, this comedy is one of the scariest films of the year, using...

The 5th Wave Movie Review

The 5th Wave Movie Review

Also based on the first in a trilogy of post-apocalyptic teen novels, this thriller feels...

Ride Along 2 Movie Review

Ride Along 2 Movie Review

Ice Cube and Kevin Hart reteam for a sequel no one really asked for, following...

Room Movie Review

Room Movie Review

One of the most extraordinary films of the year, this drama cleverly weaves in events...

Creed Movie Review

Creed Movie Review

While this film is basically Rocky VII, it's also much more than that, and perhaps...

A Perfect Day Movie Review

A Perfect Day Movie Review

An irreverent comedy in the style of the original M.A.S.H., this wartime romp takes an...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.