101 Dalmatians

"Unbearable"

101 Dalmatians Review


Well, another new Disney movie is coming out and with it comes the theaters packed with screaming babies, very restless kids kicking your seat, and throngs of grownups providing running commentary of everything on the screen (to themselves, not the kids).

This is not a good thing. This time, the Disney movie is 101 Dalmatians, the live-action version, and if any movie could make me long for a quick and painless death, this is it.

In an era when we get smart "children's" movies like Babe, why does dreck like this have to continue to be made? The new 101 Dalmatians goes like this: Roger (Jeff Daniels) is a video game designer in London (where all the best video game designers live, I'm sure), and Anita (Joely Richardson) is a fashion designer in the employ of one Cruella DeVil (Glenn Close). Roger and Anita both have Dalmatians, and the super-smart dogs conspire to get Roger and Anita together. He proposes marriage an hour after he meets her, they get hitched, the Dalmatians have puppies, and Cruella decides she wants them for a coat. Cruella steals the happy couple's puppies plus a bunch more from other people. Dogs outwit baddies and escape, bringing down Cruella and her evil henchmen.

Well, la-dee-dah. This plot couldn't be less interesting if it was written by Home Alone's John Hughes. Oh, wait a minute! It was written by John Hughes! Silly me!!! In fact, 101 Dalmatians is almost exactly the same movie as Home Alone. Point in fact: Kid/dogs in trouble; bad guys chase him/them; kid/dogs end(s) up being much more resourceful; bad guys fall down a lot. Oh, funny!

Maybe you're saying, "Hey, this is a kid's movie! Lighten up!" Well, I don't think it's anywhere near being suitable for children, despite it's G rating -- there are blatant sex jokes, dead/dying animals, reactionary Puritanical attitudes (women should stay in the home), and downright destructive messages.

And this movie isn't for adults, either, because this next brick in the wall of the Disney empire is so dumbed-down it ends up just rotting the audience's brains. There's never any sense of "thrill" to this adventure, the acting is mundane, and I laughed at one single joke ("Who gets the gold?") But hey, this is Disney, and maybe brain rot is what they're aiming for! (Because then you'll pay to see next year's animated Hercules, which, from the trailer, looks even worse.)

So what do we learn from 101 Dalmatians? That your dog is smarter than you? That if your dog saves someone else's dog, you get to keep it? Who can say?

Hell, I'm a cat person, after all. So what do I know?

You see, these dogs really DID ruin the movie!



101 Dalmatians

Facts and Figures

Genre: Animation

Run time: 79 mins

In Theaters: Wednesday 25th January 1961

Distributed by: Buena Vista

Production compaines: Great Oaks Entertainment, Walt Disney Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 97%
Fresh: 36 Rotten: 1

IMDB: 7.2 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Cruella De Vil, as Roger, as Anita, as Nanny, as Jaspar

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Captain America: Civil War Movie Review

Captain America: Civil War Movie Review

After the formulaic thrills of The Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron, Marvel's Avengers were...

Son of Saul Movie Review

Son of Saul Movie Review

From Hungary, this year's Oscar-winning foreign film is a remarkably fresh take on the Holocaust...

Demolition Movie Review

Demolition Movie Review

With its darkly emotive themes and brittle humour, this well-made drama by Jean-Marc Vallee (Dallas...

Bastille Day Movie Review

Bastille Day Movie Review

An attempt to muscle in on Luc Besson's Taken-style of thriller, this is an odd...

Secret Cinema Presents: 28 Days Later Movie Review

Secret Cinema Presents: 28 Days Later Movie Review

Expectations are a problem with this year's Secret Cinema event. After the jaw-dropping, goosebump-inducing surprises...

Jane Got a Gun Movie Review

Jane Got a Gun Movie Review

With its grindingly low-key tension and unusual perspectives, this Western has a chance to revamp...

Criminal Movie Review

Criminal Movie Review

Almost criminally entertaining, this preposterous thriller mixes buckets of humour and emotion into the violent,...

Advertisement
The Jungle Book Movie Review

The Jungle Book Movie Review

Using remarkably photorealistic animation, this remake of the 1967 Disney classic is warm and enjoyable,...

Eye in the Sky Movie Review

Eye in the Sky Movie Review

Almost forensic in its approach, this smart thriller explores a drone strike from a variety...

Midnight Special Movie Review

Midnight Special Movie Review

Gifted director Jeff Nichols takes on another genre in his fourth film with actor Michael...

Boulevard Movie Review

Boulevard Movie Review

This dark, introspective drama hinges on one of Robin Williams' final film performances before his...

The Huntsman: Winter's War Movie Review

The Huntsman: Winter's War Movie Review

Aside from success at the box office, there was nothing about 2012's rather uneven fantasy...

Black Mountain Poets Movie Review

Black Mountain Poets Movie Review

It's fairly obvious that the cast and crew began making this film with only the...

Victoria Movie Review

Victoria Movie Review

One of the most breathtaking films of the year, this ambitious story shifts from a...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.