Evan Dexter Parke

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Brother's Keeper (2002) Review


Terrible
Does anything inspire as much horror as the title card, "USA Network Presents"?

Brother's Keeper -- not the 1992 documentary about a hillbilly who murders his brother -- is a ridiculously stupid story about a detective who tries to protect her brother despite the fact that he's a serial killer. Standard thriller ensues.

Continue reading: Brother's Keeper (2002) Review

Planet Of The Apes Review


Grim

Without the faintest hint of director Tim Burton's uniquely uncanny style, "Planet of the Apes" version 2.0 feels like nothing more than a generic (albeit overblown) sci-fi summer movie -- and a forgettably mediocre one at that.

A passionless, elementary endeavor of wow effects and a yawn plot (which has been reinvented from the 1968 original), the picture opens circa 2029 with astronaut Mark Wahlberg working on a space station, training chimps to pilot one-man pods into electrical storms encountered in deep space.

After losing contact with one chimp in a rather ominous anomaly, Wahlberg establishes his maverick personality (which soon fades into a vanilla version of your standard action hero) by swiping a pod against orders to go rescue him. Once inside the storm, our hero is sucked into a wormhole that turns his helm dead and spits him out to crash land on a faraway world in the distant future where -- as if you didn't know -- a brutal, medieval society of evolved simians enslaves primitive humans as labor and pets.

Continue reading: Planet Of The Apes Review

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