A short time ago in a valley far, far away, a timeless tale was modernized. A royal ball was turned into the Halloween homecoming dance, the evil stepmother was turned into Stifler's Mom (Jennifer Coolidge), the stepsisters became valley girls, and the glass slipper switched into a cell phone.

In this latest telling, Cinderella is Sam (Hilary Duff), aka PrincetonGirl818, a girl who spends her days studying to get into Princeton (because that's where princesses go), her nights slaving for her evil stepmother at a Valley roller-diner with the class of a collagen injection. The majority of her school hours are spent text messaging her secret admirer, Austin (Chad Michael Murray), aka Nomad. (I really feel sorry for whoever actually has those AIM IDs.) The evil stepsisters are social jokes with the combined IQ of an imbecile, and the fairy godmother is a waitress sister with an attitude (Regina King).

Continue reading: A Cinderella Story Review