It's official! People apparently still care about I'm A Celebrity . Get Me Out Of Here! We weren't sure to be honest, but we're reliably told that some people will still be tuning into the show when the new series kicks in. ITV have just revealed the names of the ten celebrities who are going to be making the trek to the jungle down under and, boy, when they say celebrities do they mean (loosely-termed) celebrities. The show starts this weekend on November 11, so let's see who they've got in!
Why do we know him? More recently Haye has been making rather unsavory headlines in the boxing world after a press-conference brawl with fellow British fighter Derek Chisora led to a controversial fight in London this summer, which the British Boxing Council refused to sanction. The fight, won by Haye, has damaged what was once a tremendous pugilist reputation, with the 32 year-old a former WBA heavyweight boxing champion as well as a one-time unified World cruiserweight champion.
What's he likely to do? Haye's giving it plenty of mouth about how he hates losing, how competitive he is, all the usual gumph you get from an sportsman entering these sorts of things. Expect him to carry on doing that until people get bored to tears, taking challenges in the hope they might come face to face with something truly poisonous to put them out of their misery. That and big himself up plenty. He will be good in the challenges though.
Why do we know her? It wouldn't be a middling UK reality show line-up without a couple of soap stars in tow, and few are more middling than Helen Flanagan. She was on Coronation Street for some 11 years before announcing her departure late last year to concentrate on other projects. This would appear to be the first one.
What's she likely to do? Did we mention Flanagan's also a model? At just 22 years-old bosses will no doubt be hoping that she brings some, uh, glamour to proceedings. She's already got the red-top papers chuntering about the "three bikinis" she's taking with her. We're not expecting too much of a strong showing on the challenges though we hope that she proves herself to be a worthy competitor for more than just her looks.
Why do we know him? Currently playing Fagin in a West End production of Oliver!, many (and by many we mean around 17) people will remember Conley from his glittering TV career which saw him present, y'know, that ... thing, and appear in some ... other thing. He actually seems to have quite a big Wikipedia entry which came as a surprise to us. It doesn't really clear things up, though it does appear he initially made his name as a comic in the 1980s before having a run of unsuccessful eponymous shows and other presenting jobs.
What's he likely to do? Hopefully try and jog our memory a bit so we can recognize just who he is. You never know though, sometimes it's the outsiders who come from nowhere to briefly re-ignite their career.
Why do we know her? She's an MP! And her decision to appear on I'm A Celeb has already come under much scrutiny from her peers. Claiming that she was going on the show because the 16 million viewers gave her a great platform to air her views, her belief hasn't been echoed by fellow Conservative MPs who are slightly more annoyed that she's effectively bunking off work for a month.
What's she likely to do? The reasoning she gave to appear on the show, we're expecting her to fashion herself a soapbox out of bamboo at the nearest opportunity and get preaching to the people. Will any of them listen? We're not sure, we're not sure any of these people are going to know who the others are to be honest. Expect bossiness though.
Why do we know him? He is an actor! Baker was perhaps most famous for playing Doctor Who back when the BBC show was slightly ragged looking round the ears and seemed to have the same amount to spend on effects as a school nativity play. He was the sixth incarnation of the Doc between 1984 and 1986, though is of no relation to the more famous Baker Doctor Who, Tom. So don't ask him if he is. Because he isn't. Got that?
What's he likely to do? There'll be no Tardis here for Baker to escape, and one of the elder statesmen of this year's show (he's 69) might find things a little tough in the jungle, not least because he admits that he's scared of spiders. They tend to have a few of them in this show. His main goal, according to his blurb, is to lose weight! So we wish him well with that at least. Surely just a few minutes of the treadmill in your local gym every morning could've sorted that though, Colin?
Why do we know her? Another soap star! And for fans of Eastenders a very memorable one indeed. Brooks was part of the infamous Butcher family, playing the scheming Janine for four years between 2000 and 2004, winning a host of soap awards to boot. Her career hasn't really topped those glory days though (why do you think she's here?) and so she returned in 2008. Though she's taking a break from it again, they're expecting her to return in 2013.
What's she likely to do? We actually reckon that Brooks' biggest problem in the jungle will be missing her daughter Kiki. The actress said she has no real phobias, although the thought of rats and spiders crawling over her is "unpleasant", and with a public persona that's generally laid back we reckon she might just subtly charm her way into the final reckoning.
Why do we know him? He's one of those Made In Chelsea lot, which of course makes him a horrific, horrific person. The 26 year-old posho reckons he's going to get emotional in the jungle as he struggles to adjust to life away from London, so expect tears galore from the greeting clown. Taylor claims he wants to be in the southern hemisphere because people only saw a part of him in Made Him Chelsea. If you ask us, that part was more than enough.
What's he likely to do? Well cry, by the sounds of it. If he does get anywhere he's going to be blubbing all the way through, and having tears impeding your vision isn't going to do you much good when you're dodging all manner of nature's unholy creatures. He might've fancied himself as the alpha male of the group, but with David Haye about he's got no chance of that, so we reckon a period of petty whingeing awaits.
Why do we know her? Come on guys it's only ruddy Tracy from Birds of a ruddy Feather! Together with her off-screen pal Pauline Quirke (who she'd worked with since 1976) she charmed the hearts of British comedy fans who liked their laughs pleasant, not too far off the center of the road and with a strong emotional undercurrent. Since Birds Of A Feather finished in 1998 though she found herself a little adrift career-wise; thank god then that the reality show boom happened. Robson's certainly done the rounds: I'm Famous And I'm Frightened, Celebrity Blind Man's Bluff, Come Dine With Me, Celebrities Under Pressure and Celebrity Quitters to name a few. We wish some of these characters would quit at being celebrities to be honest.
What's she likely to do? Robson's a pro at the celebrity TV game show, of that there's no denying. But she's never done it in an environment where you barely have to blink an eye to cause sweat to start running down the back of your... well, yes, you get the idea. Challenge-wise she's already publicly stated that any tasks involving getting in a coffin are going to mean failure for the team (she'll have to work on that before she eventually passes away from this world), though if you need anyone to deal with rats she's your woman - she was cured of her phobia of them on This Morning six months ago. Which is handy isn't it?
Why do we know him? It's a good job Americans aren't going to be watching this, their heads would almost certainly explode at trying to comprehend how a man who could once throw sharp pointy sticks into a cork board better than anyone else stood in the middle of a pub could be considered one of the UK's past sporting stars. That's what Eric Bristow is though; a five time World Darts Champion between 1980 and 1986, he is considered one of its most famous sons. Which makes him roughly about Britain's 23,567th famous sons in sport in general.
What's he likely to do? Bristow is actually one of the few single competitors in the jungle this year, though we don't really fancy the 55 year-old's chances of scoring. He stoically claims he won't miss anything, given that he can smoke outside (poor mother nature), and enjoys a penchant for doing "mad things". He could do pretty well judging by this apparent care free attitude. He could also rile a lot of those up who are feeling quite emotional about leaving loved ones behind. Will his darts skills come in handy? Only if something akin to Lord Of The Flies breaks out in the wilderness this time round, in which case god help them all.
Why do we know her? Be it I'm A Celeb or Big Brother, there's always one American celebrity who for some reason unbeknownst to anyone else decides to take the plunge with some British nobodies for a few weeks. This time round it's The Pussycat Dolls Ashley Roberts. Good luck Ash, you might know who David Haye is but we're pretty sure you'll have no idea about the rest unless Nicole Scherzinger's clued you in - and she doesn't seem the sort who'd have been a big fan of Birds Of A Feather or 1980s darts.
What's he likely to do? Generally look baffled. We all know how these sort of bookings turn out, and we're not even sure how long she'll stick around to be honest. We don't blame her, imagine having to share a jungle with someone from Nadine Dorries. She is apparently hoping to meet the man of her dreams in the jungle though, confessing that she loves the British accent. Hear that Bristow? Make sure you pack your breath mints!
OUR TIP FOR THE BIG 'W'
David Haye's competitiveness could well see him take the title of King of the Jungle, whilst Linda Robson's getting pretty experienced at the whole reality show thing. However we've got a sneaky feeling that Charlie Brooks could surprise them all. What do you think?