In 2006, 3 soldiers from the British Army's 3rd Battalion set out across the Kajaki Dam in Afghanistan during a patrol, but they are blindsided when one of their team accidentally steps on an unmarked landmine and loses his leg. His comrades rush to his aid, comforting him all the while, before realising their desperate position. The Taliban are no longer their only danger; they have found themselves in a minefield from the Russian invasion in the 80s making it impossible to move from their positions without imminent danger. All they can hope for is helicopter rescue, but with the sun bearing down upon them and enemies surrounding the area, they only have each other to rely on to make it through the long hours ahead.
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US soldiers Duke and Ripcord (Tatum and Wayans) are guarding a terrifying new nano-weapon when they're attacked and then defended by two outrageously high-tech assault forces. They of course eventually join the good side, the G.I. Joes, an elite team led by General Hawk (Quaid). These top commandos (including Nichols, Taghmaoui, Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Park) are hunting Duke's ex Ana (Miller), who has gone over to the dark side to help supervillain arms dealer McCullen (Eccleston) and his Vader-esque evil-doctor sidekick with their nefarious plan for world domination.
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Naturally, Victoria gets separated and spends the next hour-plus running around in the catacombs in her boots (has Sossamon ever appeared in a movie in heels? just wondering), being chased by, you guessed it, a dude in a goat-head mask. He doesn't stop, no matter how injured Victoria gets or how many people she encounters get killed... until the end, when one of cinema's most absurd twist endings of all time gets sprung on you.
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Following one of the most pitiful title sequences I've ever seen, The Watcher actually proceeds to become one of the most pitiful thrillers I've ever seen. And that takes some doing... but let me tell you how.
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The story is a balls-out revenge tale, opening with the violent death of kindhearted old mother Evelyn Mercer (Fionnula Flanagan) during a convenience store hold-up. Evelyn's funeral brings home her four adopted sons: mercurial bruiser Bobby (Mark Wahlberg), military man Angel (Tyrese), entrepreneurial Jeremiah (Andre Benjamin aka Outkast's Andre 3000), and semi-famous rocker Jack (Garrett Hedlund). Being back home together brings back memories of the "only woman who ever loved us," but also brings back their thuggish ways, especially when they find out mom's tragic accident may have been murder. That's when the fast-based, Charles Bronson-esque vigilante part of this tale kicks into high gear.
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