Darrell Hammond has revealed how he used drugs and alcohol, as well as self-harm, to deal with a bad childhood in his warts-and-all new memoir titled, 'God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked.' The 56-year-old performed on entertainment show Saturday Night Live for some 14 seasons between 1995 and 2009, making him one of the show's longest-serving cast members.
However in his startling new book, Hammond reveals the inner demons he's faced all his life - including being taken from the NBC studios, where 'snl' is filmed, in a straitjacket in 1998, reports the New York Post. His drugs issues haunted him until as recently as 2009, where he writes, "I had the brilliant idea I should try crack," going on to describe time spent in a Harlem crack house. Meanwhile he'd hit cocaine hard, saying, "I'd started adding an obscene amount of cocaine to my binges" he wrote, furthering "I had to be creative about how I did it without other people catching on or letting it interfere with the work. At least too much."
Reasoning his drinking, Hammond said "The drinking calmed my nerves and quieted the disturbing images that sprang into my head ... when drinking didn't work, I cut myself." However in 2011, Hammond appears to be in better shape, and 'snl' evidently have no hard feelings towards him - he's appeared on the show seven times since leaving full-time.