Danny Trejo Page 2

Robert Rodriguez returns to Grindhouse territory with this B-movie spoof sequel that mixes hilariously knowing jokes with painfully stiff storytelling. Fans of the genre will love it, but those expecting a sense of narrative momentum will find themselves bored when the plot stalls about halfway in. And the rampant misogynistic smirking should be too much for anyone.

After the events of the 2010 original (which itself was based on a mock-trailer from 2007's Grindhouse double bill), the former Mexican agent Machete (Trejo) has been secretly working with US Immigration. After a bust goes badly wrong, he is assigned by the US President (Sheen, performing under his birth-name Carlos Estevez) to capture psychotic drug kingpin Mendez (Bichir) in Mexico. Working with his beauty-queen contact (Heard), he heads into the danger zone pursued by the master-of-disguise Camaleon and immediately running afoul of a vindictive brothel madame (Vergara). Along the way he discovers that the real villain is a defence contractor (Gibson) back in America, so he asks his former partner-in-crime (Michelle Rodriguez) for some help.

Every scene overflows with hyper-violent action and near-naked babes with guns. And the fast-paced mayhem is frequently played out as wacky slapstick, with movie in-jokes and a general sense of chaos. Aside from the amusingly straight-faced Trejo, the actors play everything for laughs. Gibson chomps mercilessly on the scenery during his overlong scenes, while Sheen plays with his own personal history while winking knowingly to the camera. There's also a continuous parade of A-list cameos, including Gaga, Gooding and Banderas hamming up their silly scenes for all they're worth.

Continue reading: Machete Kills Review

While stoner Kumar (Penn) is failing to cope with the chaos of his life, now-respectable banker Harold (Cho) is dreading Christmas with his wife's (Garces) extended family, including his terrifying father-in-law Perez (Trejo).

When Kumar drops off a mis-delivered package at Harold's house, their first meeting in six years causes instant chaos. Now they have to team up to replace Perez's prized Christmas tree. This involves scary encounters with a Scarface-style mobster (Koteas), mean-acting tree sellers (RZA and Da'Vone McDonald) and the real Santa (Richard Riehle).

Continue reading: A Very Harold & Kumar 3d Christmas Review

Machete (Trejo) is a disgraced Mexican Federale who's hiding amongst the illegal immigrants on the Texas-Mexico border. Here he stumbles into a conspiracy involving a trigger-happy senator (DeNiro) and a wild-eyed vigilante (Johnson) who are cleaning up the border one bullet at a time. But he also runs up against a sexy immigration officer (Alba), a ruthless businessman (Fahey) and a trail of criminality leading to his nemesis Torrez (Seagal). As things get nasty, he gets help from his priest brother (Marin) and a feisty taco-truck lady (Rodriguez).

Continue reading: Machete Review

Yes, Charlize Theron uglied herself up for Monster and Halle Berry went working-class for Monster's Ball. But Sherrybaby isn't Monster Mommy; it's a quiet, painful little portrait with little of the inherent sympathy (or showier ugliness) of those other roles. More to the point, while Theron and Berry rocked the Oscar-friendly reverse-makeover, Gyllenhaal looks more or less as she usually does: moony face, sad eyes, feathery voice. The only physical transformation involves a blond dye-job, trashy heels, and a lot more screen time for her breasts.

Continue reading: Sherrybaby Review

Not only that, but it's assembled using all of Bruckheimer's tried and tested techniques: Mix movie stars and indie heroes into an eclectic, slumming cast and have them act in a ludicrously high-concept scenario. (Here it is: The worst criminals in the country team up to hijack their prison transport plane! And it's up to one man to stop them!) Then spend lots of money but indulge in a cynical jokiness, and hire a director who will shoot the whole thing like it's a music video or a commercial (preferably for itself).

Continue reading: Con Air Review

My favorite films are from my childhood -- Flash Gordon, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Mary Poppins, the Muppets movies, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, and The Never-Ending Story -- and they all presented an impossible world made real only by the power of imagination. Spy Kids ranks up there with the best children's films by creating implausible scenarios made from martial arts stunts, gee-whiz spy gadgets, robots built entirely of huge thumbs, a holodeck-like room filled with rolling clouds and stretches of golden sands, and providing total escapism for both kids and adults.

Continue reading: Spy Kids Review

Great casting is absolutely vital to a puckishly impudent comedy like "Bubble Boy" -- the story of a happy-go-lucky, immune-deficient geek who zip-locks himself into a homemade portable orb to travel cross-country and stop the wedding of the girl he loves.

Put somebody like Adam Sandler, David Spade or Seth Green in the title role, and this childlike weirdo with matted hair and a whiney voice would lose all his sweet qualities and quickly become intolerably abrasive.

But Jake Gyllenhaal, who made such a lasting impression as future NASA scientist Homer Hickman in the little-seen coming of age picture "October Sky" -- is absolutely brilliant in the role. His exaggerated wide-eyed naivete has just enough pepper to make you laugh with him, not at him. His hyperactive enthusiasm at taking his first steps into the world ("Dog poo! Aweeeesome!") is so real that you don't just laugh, you smile. He makes the character three-dimensional and 100-percent lovable, but in an ever-so-slightly ironic way that requires a ton of talent to maintain.

Continue reading: Bubble Boy Review

Since the vast majority of the audience for "Spy Kid 3D: Game Over" has probably never seen a 3D movie with cheap, old-fashioned blue-and-red-lensed cardboard glasses, here's a three-point primer for proper enjoyment of any flick in this format:

1) Sit toward the middle of the theater. Because of the twin-image nature of 3D projection, the more off-center you are from the screen, the more you'll see eye-straining "ghosting" of images through your glasses instead of proper depth of field.

2) The left lens (red) always seems uncomfortably darker than the right (blue). Get used to it.

Continue reading: Spy Kids 3d: Game Over Review

"Desperado," the second eye-poppingly stylish and unabashedly outlandish B-movie in Robert Rodriguez's "El Mariachi" shoot-'em-up trilogy, is one of my all-time favorite action movies, in part because it has its priorities straight: The plot was simple -- a nameless mariachi avenges his girlfriend's murder with a guitar case full of semi-automatic weapons and an endless supply of ammunition -- and the action was non-stop and over-the-top.

Antonio Banderas cut an imposing, mysterious, hell-bent, dangerous and dead sexy figure in his long hair, implacable glower and black suede bandito get-up -- complete with jangling spurs -- as he performed a limber slow-motion ballet of body-twisting, two-fisted gunfire while dodging hails of bullets from evil drug-runners. And all this was set to a steamy, dynamic south-of-the-border score by the great guitaristas of Los Lobos.

But in the new installment, "Once Upon a Time in Mexico," writer-director-editor-composer Rodriguez pollutes the action -- which is uncharacteristically erratic, incongruous and over-edited -- with a needlessly convoluted plot involving 1) a thorny coup attempt against the Mexican president backed by a cartel kingpin (Willem Dafoe) and his turncoat henchman (Mickey Rourke), 2) a crooked and borderline-loco CIA agent (Johnny Depp) playing both sides against the middle, 3) a former FBI agent (Ruben Blades) frustrated with not nailing the kingpin before his retirement, 4) a curvaceous, gung-ho greenhorn federale (Eva Mendez) with ulterior motives, and 5) yet another murder, played out in fantasized-action flashbacks, that the mariachi is out to avenge.

Continue reading: Once Upon A Time In Mexico Review