Daniel Cosgrove

Daniel Cosgrove

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Valentine Review


Bad
Well, here's something that will make you wish you'd stayed home to watch Survivor instead of shelling out money at the movies. Hell, Valentine, another entry into the yearly, winter horror crapfest, even makes Temptation Island look good.

What we've got here is your standard grade horror flick in the vein of Scream and Urban Legend, revolving around a mysterious killer devising a supposed revenge plot -- a geeky kid who got a Carrie pulled on him in 6th grade. My how the tables have turned! The bunch of girls who refused to dance with him are now getting killed, 13 years later. Has this nobody returned from obscurity to exact his revenge for having punch poured on him?

Continue reading: Valentine Review

National Lampoon's Van Wilder Review


OK

Have campus comedies really reached the point where fashionable, ante-upping gross-out gags are obligatory? I mean, do we really need a movie in which bulldog semen is served in pastries to unsuspecting frat jerks?

I ask only because "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" has such hilariously droll dialogue and such a witty, charismatic lead in Ryan Reynolds (of TV's "Two Guys and a Girl") that it's just bursting with untapped crafty comic energy that has been redirected toward the lowest of the lowbrow.

Reynolds emits an aura of smarmy charm in the title role of consummate collegiate slacker Van Wilder who, after seven years as Big Man On Campus and $40,000 in tuition, has been cut off by his fed-up father (played by Tim Matheson in one of the flick's many nods to "Animal House").

Continue reading: National Lampoon's Van Wilder Review

Valentine Review


Weak

The target-audience crowd at the night-before-release screening of "Valentine" -- a sluggish, labored slasher flick based on a much more complex suspense novel -- gave the movie an unequivocal review that needs no explanation when almost all of them loudly and resoundingly booed in unison as the end credits rolled.

They were booing mostly at the laughable, implausible "surprise" reveal of the real killer after an hour and a half of haphazard red herrings. But they might as well have been booing at the very idea that movie audiences will go see anything with a masked killer, a bloody kitchen knife and a random holiday in the title.

The killer here wears a creepy cherub mask, of course, and in the picture's one remotely clever scene he offs the movie's second worst actress (Jessica Cauffiel, "Urban Legends 2") by foregoing the knife in favor of a bow and arrow -- because he's Cupid, see? Apparently this is the kind of thing that makes brain-dead studio suits wet themselves in delight.

Continue reading: Valentine Review

Daniel Cosgrove

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Benedict Cumberbatch Interviews Tom Hiddleston, But Avoids The Taylor Swift Question

Benedict Cumberbatch Interviews Tom Hiddleston, But Avoids The Taylor Swift Question

One Marvel Universe star interviewed another, as part of Interview magazine's October edition.

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Daniel Cosgrove Movies

Valentine Movie Review

Valentine Movie Review

Well, here's something that will make you wish you'd stayed home to watch Survivor instead...

National Lampoon's Van Wilder Movie Review

National Lampoon's Van Wilder Movie Review

Have campus comedies really reached the point where fashionable, ante-upping gross-out gags are obligatory? I...

Valentine Movie Review

Valentine Movie Review

The target-audience crowd at the night-before-release screening of "Valentine" -- a sluggish, labored slasher flick...

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