Dan Cracchiolo

Dan Cracchiolo

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13 Ghosts Review


Weak
I swear Joel Silver and the boys at Dark Castle just keep making the same damn film in a nicer looking house. I can picture the gray-bearded man right now, sitting behind a desk in a plush leather chair, tapping his fingers together, trying to decide at which overtly posh location he shall strike next. The House on Notting Hill is surely on the way next.

Once again deciding to rely entirely on creepy art direction, set design, and half-assed CGI, Silver is back again at the whole "haunted house" game. Last time he handed up a haunted insane asylum (House on Haunted Hill) and a group of under- or overrated actors and said "boo." This time he hands us Shannon Elizabeth, Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Lillard, F. Murray Abraham, all sequestered in a glass house with Latin written across its walls -- oh yeah, and let's not forget the comic relief nanny (Rah Digga).

Continue reading: 13 Ghosts Review

Exit Wounds Review


Terrible
To watch a Steven Seagal film, one must fully suspend all disbelief. And to fully enjoy the audacity of Seagal, one must ignore all of the consequences associated with the following: Starting fistfights with large men in flashy nightclubs, destroying everything in sight along the way. Surviving every semi-automatic gun battle and car crash without a scratch. Purchasing Italian racing cars with bundles of $100 bills stuffed in a gym bag. Actually being able to cash out stock options from a dot-com and then creating a private surveillance unit devoted to uncovering a ring of corrupt Detroit cops involved in smuggling heroin inside of sweatshop-produced t-shirts. OK... maybe that corrupt cops thing is a bit hard to swallow.

I remember a time when I used to enjoy Seagal. Such films as Above the Law, Hard to Kill, Marked for Death, Under Siege, and Out for Justice are all solid action films from the '90s. Under Siege is even kind of good. But lately, films like Under Siege 2, Fire Down Below, and The Patriot have shown the age of the Italian stallion of Aikido.

Continue reading: Exit Wounds Review

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