Conrad Bachmann

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Rules Of Engagement Review


Unbearable
The best thing about being a critic is getting to see unreleased films weeks and sometimes months before the general audience does. The toughest thing about being a critic is being subjected to the waste products of the movie industry, run by conglomerates that wouldn't know a Cronenberg film from a bottle of Heineken.

Rules of Engagement is one of these waste products: pulling together a great cast, a great story idea, and a great director, then letting it all fall apart into a mess of things I wouldn't even blame Joel Schumacher for.

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The Astronaut's Wife Review


Unbearable
A few days ago I saw The Sixth Sense. I thought the problem with that movie was that it lost most of my interest before the movie got interesting. In The Astronaut's Wife, the new, excruciating thriller from New Line, it never got interesting. What it did was steal from other movies. The basic concept smells like Species, and they even stole that "glass slowly falling from the hand of the person and shattering on the floor shot" from The Usual Suspects.

Johnny Depp stars as Spencer Armacost, an astronaut who loses communication with NASA while fixing a satellite. Upon his return, strange occurrences begin with Spencer's partner, who was up there with him, and his partner's wife. This, of course, starts up the paranoia with Spencer's wife Jillian (Charlize Theron).

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