Claudio Argento

Claudio Argento

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The Mother of Tears Review


Grim
The apocalypse is held over in Rome and, per usual, perennial schlockmeister Dario Argento is behind the entire thing. People are getting strangled by their own guts, women are taking butcher cleavers to their children, large bald men are dispatching lesbians by poking out their eyes and shoving large spears up their hoo-has. Just another day for Mr. Argento and his lascivious daughter Asia as they bring the trilogy that started with the master's classic Suspiria to a laughably berserk end. But really, how else could it have ended?

As previously mentioned, Rome has gone insane and it's all because of a dagger and three little statues dug up by a priest in some back-country cemetery. These troublesome artifacts find their way to a young art historian named Sarah (Ms. Argento) and her friend Giselle. As Sarah goes to fetch the cleaning supplies, Giselle gets her mouth split open and gets strangled by her large intestine before being consumed by three demons and their screaming pet monkey. As regular citizens begin to take to random acts of violence, Sarah is suspected of involvement by a detective (Cristian Solimeno) while she hides away with Michael (Adam James), the head curator of the museum.

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Inferno Review


Weak
A bony devil-person, a haunted school, a mysterious occult legend, and body count the size of any action movie make up Inferno, Dario Argento's sequel to his cult classic Suspiria and the second of his "Three Mothers" trilogy -- a trilogy which only saw two movies made. Make sense? Not at all, but it's so innovatively gory and gruesome that it's hard not to alternately laugh and be grossed out by its wicked killings. The big finish sets up the third movie so well that you actually wish for Argento to go ahead and make it already, if for no other reason than to end your utter confusion.

Suspiria Review


Essential
"Suzy Banyon decided to perfect her ballet studies in the most famous school of dance in Europe. She chose the celebrated Academy of Freiburg. One day at 9:00 in the morning she left Kennedy Airport and arrived in Germany at 10:40 PM local time..."

A tumultuous thunderstorm of drumming, both primitive and achingly familiar, the gurgled throbbing of a bass line and sinister voices chanting and howling as a young woman races through a night forest in the midst of a deluge. Lightning flashes revealing snatches of something in the woods running along side her. The music crescendos, lightening hypnotically strobes, the colors are supersaturated deep reds and blues and screaming fills the cool night air.

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Scarlet Diva Review


Grim
Were it not for her semi-famous father, director Dario Argento, Asia Argento would undoubtedly by wading thigh-deep through the porn industry right now. She may as well be: Scarlet Diva, her semi-fictionalized life story (written by, directed by, and starring herself), has the poor Italian girl whoring her way across Europe as she experiences rock shows, drug deals, and domestic violence -- though her movie alter-ego "Anna Battista" is far more famous than Asia will ever be.

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Tenebre Review


Grim
Gory but not particularly effective Argento horror flick, complete with his usual touches: secret villain, topless Italian beauties, and an overbearing organ score. The story is pretty straightforward, paced steadily by keeping time via body count: An American murder novelist (his book is oddly spelled Tenebrae, the movie Tenebre) visits Italy, only to find someone copy-catting the book's M.O. (See also Basic Instinct.) Is the killer who you think it is, only not to be, because that's too obvious? Ah, skip it.
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