Bruce Payne

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Private screening of 'Age Of Kill'

Bruce Payne - Private screening of 'Age Of Kill' at Ham Yard Hotel - Red Carpet Arrivals at Ham Yard Hotel - London, United Kingdom - Wednesday 1st April 2015

Bruce Payne

Photocall for 'We Still Kill The Old Way'

Bruce Payne - Photocall for 'We Still Kill The Old Way' at Ham Yard Hotel - London, United Kingdom - Monday 29th September 2014

Bruce Payne

Screening of 'We Still Kill The Old Way'

Bruce Payne - Screening of 'We Still Kill The Old Way' at The Ham Yard Hotel, Denman Street - London, United Kingdom - Monday 29th September 2014

Bruce Payne

Highlander: Endgame Review


Terrible
He is Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod. He's been pimpin' it since he was born in the village of Glennfillan in 15somethingsomething, and he continues to pimp it in modern day. He is immortal and he cannot die.

Much to our chagrin.

Continue reading: Highlander: Endgame Review

Dungeons & Dragons Review


Unbearable
You know you're in big trouble when halfway through a movie you ask yourself, "What would be better? Sitting through the rest of this garbage or receiving a scratch to the retina?" Ultimately, the question is moot, since both are examples of ocular mayhem.

The impulse as you sit through Dungeons & Dragons is to close your eyes, thereby shielding yourself from those atrocious computer-generated zooming up and down gaudily-colored castles and cloud-capped palaces. Unfortunately, the sound design is so brutal with those sharp rings as swords clash, glitter dust swirls, and magic spells go WHOOSH that sleep is not a viable option.

Continue reading: Dungeons & Dragons Review

Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God Review


Grim
It almost defies belief and logic that they would make a sequel to the disastrous flop Dungeons & Dragons, best known for putting Thora Birch in golden chain mail. It may actually be an improvement, though it's still a low-budget affair with bad dialogue and ridiculous special effects. (God forgive me for complaining about the sets and CGI in Lord of the Rings.) Speaking of Rings, see if this sounds familiar: A band of heroes has to retrieve a magic item from an evil sorcerer who's ravaging the land. (OK, it's not exactly the same, but still...) Yes, there are both dungeons and dragons, but it's during the requisite underground adventure that the story actually really meantains your attention. Not horrible, but it's hardly going to revive this abortive series. (Whoa, and that title...)

Steal Review


Terrible
Oh, what's the point?

Here's another movie that consists of a series of tame heists followed by lengthy chase scenes, as a collection of punks outwits the cops and the mafias to try and abscond with 20 million bucks. Stephen Dorff and Natasha Henstridge aren't necessarily the kiss of death in a movie -- and in fact they're collectively the only thing worth watching here -- but that isn't saying much. (Even more baffling: The 82 minute movie includes 8 minutes of closing credits -- that's 10 percent of the film!)

Continue reading: Steal Review

Dungeons & Dragons Review


Terrible

As cheap and over-acted as "Xena: Warrior Princess," but without the ironic, self-aware charm and campy sense of humor, "Dungeons and Dragons" is the fantasy genre at its worst and will likely disgruntle even the most die-hard role-playing wonks -- even those that go in with bargain basement expectations.

Vaguely inspired by the medievalish role-playing game of the same name, the movie is unoriginal pap about a divided empire in which a megalomaniacal ogre (Jeremy Irons) is trying to overthrow a noble young empress (Thora Birch) with idealistic designs for democracy.

The ogre wants to acquire a scepter with what looks like a Christmas ornament at its center because the rod is apparently a dragon remote control and "with the dragon army at my command, I can crush the empress!"

Continue reading: Dungeons & Dragons Review

Bruce Payne

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