Brooke Langton

Brooke Langton

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Brooke Langton - Brooke Langton, Los Angeles, California - NBC’S "Life" Premiere at Celadon Wednesday 26th September 2007

Brooke Langton
Brooke Langton

Brooke Langton - Wednesday 27th June 2007 at Mann Village Theater Westwood, California

Brooke Langton
Brooke Langton
Brooke Langton

Primeval Review


Bad
If there was ever a film that was so awful it practically begged for the resurrection of the cult TV show Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (or MST3K), where geeks made fun of films while watching them, it's Primeval. Not only is this killer croc flop not frightening, it's insultingly stupid. The plot is a flimsy mishmash of every nature-run-amok and adventure-in-Africa film of the past 50 years, and there are sequences that feel so old -- so moth-eaten -- that I expected a man in a gorilla suit to appear and carry off the leading (white) lady.

So, this killer crocodile, with the absurd handle of Gustave, is munching on Africans in war-torn Burundi. And he's like super hungry. Given that he can live to 100 years and eats hundreds of people a year, the croc's a one-lizard population safeguard. Unfortunately for the villagers who live in fear of this monster, there's another Gustave in the bush: Little Gustave, a nasty decapitating warlord. (His name is a great example of Hollywood slap-your-forehead allegory.) When an American news network sends in a television crew to film the capture of the croc, they run afoul of both the cold-blooded river beast and the hot-tempered warlord. Hysterics ensue.

Continue reading: Primeval Review

Playing Mona Lisa Review


Good
Playing Mona Lisa follows the life of Claire Goldstein (Alicia Witt), who slowly unravels as various forces of nature turn against her. Claire's life is not unlike the movie as a whole, which starts off strong but meanders to a non-ending that is unlikely to leave anyone very satisfied.

Claire is a "brilliant" 23-year old pianist, which is apt casting for Witt, considering she is also a real-life piano prodigy. On the eve of her graduation from the San Francisco Academy of Music, Claire's life starts to come undone. First she doesn't make it into a big piano competition. Then she gets dumped, then evicted, then just plain whiny as she realizes her family (with whom she is now forced to live) is full of freaks.

Continue reading: Playing Mona Lisa Review

The Replacements Review


Weak
I wish I could have been in the pitch meeting for this ridiculous notion of a sports film. I bet it was some hotshot Warner Brothers agent with an dark Armani suit and manicured fingernails saying, "It would be a very light comedic version of Any Given Sunday, and we could throw in the Hoosiers angle with the casting of Gene Hackman as the tough but determined coach. Throw in that hunk of a guy Keanu Reeves and a cast of wacky characters and poof! We'll have a hit on our hands!"

The Replacements is a hokey mistake of a football film, a mishmash collage of one-dimensional characters, rampant stereotypes of cultures and races, cliched emotional statements of purpose, and Keanu Reeves wishing for The Matrix sequel to start principal photography. The story is loosely based around the pro football players' strike in 1987 and a rag-tag team of replacement football players taking up the reins of professional play for a variety of teams with names like the Washington Sentinels. Keanu Reeves stars as Shane Falco, a has-been football college player looking for redemption. Gene Hackman dons a fedora like Tom Landry and speaks with gusto like a certain coach in Hoosiers.

Continue reading: The Replacements Review

Kiss The Bride Review


Weak
Industry-wise, egomania is probably at its worst in Hollywood, where seemingly anyone with a connection can grab a camera and a few hundred thousand bucks, dust off a crappy screenplay they've written, and make an honest to God movie.

Kiss the Bride is the kind of vanity project that every Hollywood actor dreams of making, and when it's all said and done they wonder why it never got theatrical distribution.

Continue reading: Kiss The Bride Review

The Replacements Review


Good

Keanu Reeves has finally begun to realize what kinds of roles he's right for: grunt cop in "Speed," computer hacker dude in "The Matrix," and now, a rise-to-the-occasion substitute football hero in "The Replacements."

He's perfect for the quarterback role in this entirely predictable but utterly entertaining gridiron comedy about a mixed bag of working class joes and forgotten college football stars rounded up to play again by an NFL team when their spoiled millionaire players go on strike.

Washed-up collegiate rocket-arm Shane Falco (Reeves) is living on a beat-up houseboat and makes a living scraping barnacles off the bottom of yachts when coach Jimmy McGinty (an ideally-cast Gene Hackman) comes calling, hoping Falco will don shoulder pads and a helmet once again and lead the fictional Washington Sentinels through the last four games of their unfinished season.

Continue reading: The Replacements Review

Playing Mona Lisa Review


Good

Claire Goldstein is all giddy and aglow because last night her wonderful, wonderful boyfriend asked for her hand in marriage. Unfortunately it's morning now, he's sober, and not only has be blacked out popping the question, but he's also started thinking maybe they shouldn't see each other anymore.

That's only the beginning of Claire's problems in "Playing Mona Lisa," a breakup recovery screwball comedy that in many marvelous ways invokes the spirit of Woody Allen -- if Woody Allen were a comely, quizzical, capriciously miserable 23-year-old redhead from San Francisco.

Trying to withdraw from the world by staying in bed and eating Ho-Hos by the boxful, poor Claire (the comically gifted Alicia Witt) can't even wallow in self-pity to her satisfaction because her busybody family keeps showing up to chicken-soup her heart with useless anecdotes and unsolicited advice.

Continue reading: Playing Mona Lisa Review

Brooke Langton

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Brooke Langton Movies

Primeval Movie Review

Primeval Movie Review

If there was ever a film that was so awful it practically begged for the...

The Replacements Movie Review

The Replacements Movie Review

I wish I could have been in the pitch meeting for this ridiculous notion of...

Kiss the Bride Movie Review

Kiss the Bride Movie Review

Industry-wise, egomania is probably at its worst in Hollywood, where seemingly anyone with a connection...

The Replacements Movie Review

The Replacements Movie Review

Keanu Reeves has finally begun to realize what kinds of roles he's right for: grunt...

Playing Mona Lisa Movie Review

Playing Mona Lisa Movie Review

Claire Goldstein is all giddy and aglow because last night her wonderful, wonderful boyfriend asked...

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