Bernie Casey

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Never Say Never Again Review


Weak
There is a special place in movie hell for Never Say Never Again. Not that it's particularly bad -- though it's hardly good -- but because it's such a cheeseball experience with a strange and horrible pedigree.

The story goes that the remake rights for the classic Bond movie Thunderball weren't held by the usual parties due to a complicated collaboration over a few of the earlier Bond movies. Writer Kevin McClory and producer Harry Saltzman ended up in court, and ultimately was settled with the result that McClory retained the right to make his version of Thunderball. And 20 years after the original came out, he did.

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Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure Review


Excellent
The obvious inspirations for Wayne and Garth, Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) first hit history in this witty, winning tale of two modern-day So-Cal misfits who end up travelling through time. The impetus? A future society bases all of its culture on the music Bill and Ted's band, Wyld Stallyns (And notably the phrase, "Be excellent to each other") -- but all of that might never happen if the burnouts don't get their history report done.

Alas, it doesn't look good. Bill and Ted are walking mistakes as it is. They can't pronounce Socrates and believe Caeser was "a salad dressing dude." But their grasp of superlative adjectives like triumphant and gnarly is impressive indeed, so maybe there's hope.

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Boxcar Bertha Review


OK
Notable for being Martin Scorsese's first Hollywood feature and containing Barbara Hershey's most notorious nude scenes, Boxcar Bertha is genre schlock. Cineastes try to read a lot into the film -- commissioned as a reponse to Bonnie and Clyde by Roger Corman -- somehow indicating that Scorsese's greatness was evident (Mean Streets would follow one year later), but Bertha is fundamentally just a Bonnie ripoff, with Hershey and David Carradine galavanting across the Depression-era south with the goal of ruining a railroad, robbing banks and whoring it up along the way. The abrupt ending is strange but oddly relieving.

The Glass Shield Review


OK
At least it sounded like a good idea. Unfortunately, the execution of the new Miramax film, The Glass Shield, a drama set in an L.A. sheriff's station, leaves the viewer with little more than the perception that he's just seen a movie that could have been something, but didn't quite make it.

The Glass Shieldis the tragic tale of J.J. Johnson (Michael Boatman), a bright-eyed and idealistic black deputy-in-training who is "chosen" to join an all-white Los Angeles station for his first assignment. There, he encounters not-so-subtle racism and persecution which begins to crack his romanticism of the cop's life.

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Tomcats Review


Zero

Until the blooper reel that runs with the closing credits, there's scarcely a sign of wit or talent in the entirety of "Tomcats," another in what seems to be a never-ending sewer-spawn tidal wave of excessively tasteless comedies green-lighted on the coattails of "There's Something About Mary" and "American Pie."

In this one, a group of commitment-phobic buddies invest a pool of bet money that will go to the last bachelor standing. Before the first reel is over, writer-director Gregory Poirier (he wrote the campus killer thriller "Gossip") has made the movie's first big mistake and proven his laziness by skipping over the matrimonial surrender of all but two of the guys.

The plot concerns Michael (Jerry O'Connell) trying to marry off Kyle (Jake Busey) so he can collect the pot to pay off $51,000 he owes to a Vegas casino run by leg-breaking mobsters.

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Tomcats Movie Review

Tomcats Movie Review

Until the blooper reel that runs with the closing credits, there's scarcely a sign of...

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