A woman has opened up about a distressing sexual encounter with the comedian.
Aziz Ansari is the latest star to be accused of sexual misconduct after a female photographer alleged that he coerced her into unwanted sexual activity at his apartment on their first date. He has since responded to the allegations, and it seems many are actually speaking out in support of him.
Aziz Ansari at the Critics' Choice Awards
A 23-year-old Brooklyn photographer, who has been given the name 'Grace' to protect her identity, has spoken out to Babe.net to reveal how her first date with the 34-year-old 'Master of None' actor turned out to be a night of uncomfortable sexual contact which left her 'shocked' and 'upset'.
The pair met at an Emmy Awards after-party last year when they struck up a conversation about their cameras and proceeded to dance the night away. They exchanged numbers and texted for a few days before meeting up again for dinner at an oyster bar named Grand Banks, set up on a boat on the Hudson River.
Her first complaint was that she did not get to choose the wine they drank, then she was left a little taken aback by how quickly he wanted to leave the bar afterwards without even finishing their drinks. 'When the waiter came over he quickly asked for the check and he said like, 'Let's get off this boat'', she said. 'Like, he got the check and then it was bada-boom, bada-bing, we're out of there.'
Then they walked back to his apartment where she says he almost immediately began kissing her, then touching her breast, then undressing them both. When he mentioned getting a condom, she spoke up about her discomfort with the speed of the interaction, telling him: 'Whoa, let's relax for a sec, let's chill.'
Despite this, both Aziz and Grace went on to perform sex acts on each other. 'The move he kept doing was taking his two fingers in a V-shape and putting them in my mouth, in my throat to wet his fingers', she said, which would be an indication for further sexual contact. She also claimed that she kept getting up and walking away from him, but he would follow and continue where he left off.
'It was really repetitive', she said. 'It felt like a f***ing game... Most of my discomfort was expressed in me pulling away and mumbling. I know that my hand stopped moving at some points', she continued. 'I stopped moving my lips and turned cold. I know I was physically giving off cues that I wasn't interested. I don't think that was noticed at all, or if it was, it was ignored.'
This is the text Grace* sent Aziz Ansari after their date which left her feeling “violated”. She tells Ansari how uncomfortable he made her feel, saying “you ignored clear non-verbal cues” and “kept going with advances.”— babe (@babedotnet) January 14, 2018
Read the full story on https://t.co/FyMMG6uO1j. pic.twitter.com/lPOvW6tFTr
Grace says she even explicitly stated that she didn't want intercourse until at least the second date, but further pressure led her to go and splash herself with cold water in the bathroom. 'I said, 'I don't want to feel forced because then I'll hate you, and I'd rather not hate you'', she recalls upon her return. To which he replied, 'Oh, of course, it's only fun if we're both having fun. Let's just chill over here on the couch.'
She states that she then 'felt really pressured' to continue sexual contact with him even though she told him she was uncomfortable. When he seemed to get the message that she didn't want to engage in full sexual intercourse with him, he suggested they get dressed and watch 'Seinfeld' on the couch where he tried it on with her again. Eventually, he offered to call her an Uber where she says she 'cried the whole ride home'.
It's only through conversations with her friends that Grace says she has been able to 'validate this as sexual assault'. 'I believe that I was taken advantage of by Aziz', she insisted. 'I was not listened to and ignored. It was by far the worst experience with a man I've ever had.'
After he contacted her by text the next day, she proceeded to explain her feelings about his behaviour. 'Last night might've been fun for you, it wasn't for me', she wrote. 'When we got back to your place, you ignored clear non-verbal cues; you kept going with advances. You had to have noticed I was uncomfortable.'
'I'm so sad to hear this', he replied. 'It would never be my intention to make you or anyone feel the way you described. Clearly, I misread things in the moment and I'm truly sorry.'
Aziz also responded to the story with a statement to Babe, insisting that their sexual activity 'by all indications was completely consensual'. He added: 'It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned.'
While many people have spoken out in support of Grace, condemning her experience, others have blasted her for calling the encounter 'sexual assault' when she continued to let the sexual activity occur willingly, whether she felt violated and pressured or otherwise.
According to some, if she continued to engage in sexual activity with Aziz, albeit reluctantly, it still counts as consent unless she was doing so only out of concern for her own safety - and, given that she has not expressed that she felt in danger at any point, her experience cannot be described as sexual assault, merely a sexual encounter which she did not enjoy.
However, others are insisting that the fact Aziz 'ignored' her cues that she was uncomfortable with the situation is evidence that he did not care for her welfare in the moment, and took advantage of her inability to assert herself more confidently.
Grace is yet to comment on the response to her allegations.
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