Why Stephen Colbert Should Recap All Celebrity Fights From Now Until Forever

If there’s anything that can make the Orlando Bloom/Justin Bieber clash even mildly interesting, it’s a recap by Stephen Colbert. With his impeccable comedic timing and knack for original humour, Colbert’s recap sounds like your clueless uncle recapping the story and it’s the best thing. First of all, we should vote to appoint Colbert Official Celebrity Couple Nicknamer because he’s clearly years ahead of the rest of mainstream media in that department. Favorites include Musty Keebler, Jelustin Gobbler and Sorlena Blomez.

Stephen Colbert
Petition to have Colbert name all celebrity couples from now until forever.

More: Will Justin Bieber's Racist Joke Damage The Singer's Career?

“Tensions were, of course, running high when late last night, in the no man’s land of Ibiza, Justin Bieber crossed into hostile territory by walking past Bloom’s table. Bloom deployed defensive measures when he refused to shake Bieber’s hand. Traumatized witnesses report that Bieber then launched a short-ranged, ballistic, ‘She was good.’ So, Bloom threw a punch at him.”

Ha. Ha. Ha. Colbert nails the level of seriousness that should be afforded to any celebrity feud that doesn’t cross over into civilian territory. Then the faux Republican pundit added his own opinion of the situation, which matches the general tone fairly well: “I do not condone this type of violence, because… Bloom missed Bieber’s face.”

Once again, Stephen Colbert speaks the Internet’s collective mind. And for that, we thank him.

More: Stephen Colbert's Hobbit Cameo Finally Revealed [Video]

Justin Bieber
Apparently Colbert is with Orlando Bloom on this one.


Contactmusic

Tags: Justin Bieber - Orlando Bloom - Stephen Colbert

Advertisement

More Justin Bieber

Selena Gomez Reveals What Relationship Advice Taylor Swift Offered Her

It is no secret that Selena Gomez has had a rocky on-and-off relationship with Justin Bieber over the past several years, but one reason why...

Justin Bieber Causes A Stir With His Arrival At The CR Fashion Book Issue 5 Launch Party In Paris - Part 4

Popstar sensation Justin Bieber was one of the star guests at the launch party for CR Fashion Book Issue 5 held at the The Peninsula...

Justin Bieber Finally Confirms His Relationship With Selena Gomez Is Back On

Justin Bieber has confirmed he and Selena Gomez are officially back together.Justin Bieber at the Amber Lounge 2014 Gala in Monaco in May 2014.Read More:...

'We Let Them Have That One': Taylor Swift And Selena Gomez Laugh Off Feud Rumours

As the press speculate over Taylor Swift's alleged feud with Katy Perry after a recent comment she made regarding a new song, the 'Shake It...

Advertisement

Justin Bieber Arrested AGAIN, Blames Paparazzi

First people were cooing over photos of Justin Bieber back together with on/off sweetheart Selena Gomez, now he's up to his usual tricks and bad...

Justin Bieber Arrested And Charged With Assault after Crashing ATV In Canada

Justin Bieber's legal problems seem to be never ending. The 20 year-old megastar had another run-in with the law this past weekend after he was...

Justin Bieber Secretly Loves "Sad Cowboy Hat", Takes Selena Gomez On Romantic Horse Riding Break

Justin Bieber returned home to Canada on Thursday (28th August) and enjoyed a short holiday with his girlfriend Selena Gomez.The couple photographed together in 2011...

Justin Bieber Shares Selfie With Selena Gomez - Can We Count Them As Official Yet?

Justin Bieber uploaded a selfie of himself with Selena Gomez on Instagram earlier today (28th August) which has prompted yet more speculation about the nature...

Advertisement

Comments

Justin Bieber Newsletter

Subscribe to this news alert service to receive news and reviews on Justin Bieber

Unsubscribe | Unsubscribe All