Why Stephen Colbert Should Recap All Celebrity Fights From Now Until Forever

Subscribe to Justin Bieber alerts

If there’s anything that can make the Orlando Bloom/Justin Bieber clash even mildly interesting, it’s a recap by Stephen Colbert. With his impeccable comedic timing and knack for original humour, Colbert’s recap sounds like your clueless uncle recapping the story and it’s the best thing. First of all, we should vote to appoint Colbert Official Celebrity Couple Nicknamer because he’s clearly years ahead of the rest of mainstream media in that department. Favorites include Musty Keebler, Jelustin Gobbler and Sorlena Blomez.

Stephen Colbert
Petition to have Colbert name all celebrity couples from now until forever.

More: Will Justin Bieber's Racist Joke Damage The Singer's Career?

“Tensions were, of course, running high when late last night, in the no man’s land of Ibiza, Justin Bieber crossed into hostile territory by walking past Bloom’s table. Bloom deployed defensive measures when he refused to shake Bieber’s hand. Traumatized witnesses report that Bieber then launched a short-ranged, ballistic, ‘She was good.’ So, Bloom threw a punch at him.”

Ha. Ha. Ha. Colbert nails the level of seriousness that should be afforded to any celebrity feud that doesn’t cross over into civilian territory. Then the faux Republican pundit added his own opinion of the situation, which matches the general tone fairly well: “I do not condone this type of violence, because… Bloom missed Bieber’s face.”

Once again, Stephen Colbert speaks the Internet’s collective mind. And for that, we thank him.

More: Stephen Colbert's Hobbit Cameo Finally Revealed [Video]

Justin Bieber
Apparently Colbert is with Orlando Bloom on this one.


Tags: Justin Bieber - Orlando Bloom - Stephen Colbert

Subscribe to Justin Bieber alerts

More Justin Bieber

Hailey Baldwin, After Dinner & Cinema 'Date Night', Denies Romance With Justin Bieber

Hailey Baldwin: Justin Bieber's new best friend or a potential love interest? It's hard to say but they've certainly been spending a lot of time...

Justin Bieber Won The Best Christmas Present Competition

As one of the world’s biggest pop stars, there can’t be many items that Justin Bieber would be excited about getting for Christmas, probably because...

Instagram's Own Account Worst Hit By 'Insta Rapture', But Which Celebrity Accounts Have Lost The Most Followers?

The photo sharing site Instagram has decided to remove millions of profiles which were believed to be posting spam. The website's action, dubbed the 'Instagram...

Justin Bieber Grieves On Social Media And "Can't Stop Thinking About" His Late Dog Sammy

Justin Bieber's dog Sammy passed away last week and the 20-year-old singer, with his constant references on social media, may be heading down the same...


Justin Bieber Is No.1 On Forbes' List Of The Highest-Earning Celebrities Under 30 With $80 Million

Even if you hate him or love him, Justin Bieber is one wealthy 20-year-old. In his fourth year making the annual list, the Canadian megastar...

Justin Bieber Was Ordered To Pay Neighbour $80K For Egg-Throwing Incident

Justin Bieber's wallet is now substantially lighter as he was ordered to pay his former neighbour $80,000 in restitution for causing considerable damage after the...

Usher Is Working On A New Album And Tour, But Justin Bieber Is Still A Big Issue

Usher is working hard and he wants us to know as much. The R&B star hasn’t put out a new album since 2012, but he...

Ouch That Hurt! Justin Bieber And Mayweather Boxing Video "Leaked"

Finally, after years of waiting, we can see what it might possibly look like of someone to professionally beat up Justin Bieber. Talk show host...



Justin Bieber Newsletter

Subscribe to this news alert service to receive news and reviews on Justin Bieber

Unsubscribe | Unsubscribe All