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Empire Of The Wolves Review

Every once in awhile a movie comes along that is so nonsensical, so random, so stupid even, that it simply defies reviewing. 2005's edition is Empire of the Wolves, a film which appears to have gone straight to video despite starring Jean Reno.

The film opens interestingly, almost Matrix-like, as a woman (Arly Jover) is seen undergoing some kind of treatment for amnesia -- she can remember just about everyone except her husband. Increasingly suspicious and susceptible to flashbacks, she help from a psychiatrist who turns her on to the scars behind her ears and on her scalp. An x-ray reveals she's full of metal pins. Someone has done a major plastic surgery number on the gal. An hour into the 128-minute affair we get the film's primary revelation: Jover's Anna was once Turkish!

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The Young Unknowns Review

Even Less Than Zero?

It's the party of the year at Charlie's (Devon Gummersall) dad's. Well, it's the party of the week anyway. His girlfriend (Arly Jover) is around, and a couple of friends -- one loser (Eion Bailey) and one model (Leslie Bibb) join in the fun. That pretty much means drinking, drugging, and swimming in the pool.

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Fish In A Barrel Review

What's that smell? It's fish, rotting at the bottom of a barrel!

I wish I'd made Reservoir Dogs, I really do. But I didn't, and neither did Kent Dalian, as this sad, sad ripoff proves all too well.

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