Ari Schlossberg

Ari Schlossberg

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Lucky 13 Review


Terrible
I'm hard-pressed to name a more ill-advised and simply cringe-inducing motion picture than Lucky 13, a romantic comedy so far gone from both romance and comedy that putting Pauly Shore in it might have been an improvement.

Mop-topped Brad Hunt is the lead, a slacker/loser named Zach that's coming to grips with his long-term crush over Abbey (Lauren Graham, who can't save this picture with a half-hearted effort), whom he's never opened up with. She's leaving town, so Zach embarks on a voyage of self-discovery to figure out why he's been so unsuccessful with the ladies.

Continue reading: Lucky 13 Review

Hide And Seek Review


Terrible
Forget what the Chinese New Year Calendar says -- so far, it's the year of the horror movie. Not even one month into 2005, and we're already being bombarded with a steady stream of empty and inadequate thrillers. White Noise disguised its mediocrity with fancy scientific jargon for looking at television static. The latest, Hide and Seek, turns a simple children's game into a boneless, psychological pretense for stale chills.

After the apparent suicide of Alison Callaway (Amy Irving), husband David (Robert De Niro) and daughter Emily (Dakota Fanning) pick up the pieces of their broken lives and escape to the serenity (we know otherwise) of upstate New York. David, a psychologist, feels the move to the countryside will help them recover. Emily is especially devastated, but the pair relocates despite the strong objections of her doctor Katherine (Famke Janssen). They move into a vast, empty mansion with secret rooms and hideouts -- three times the space they really need. The house is clearly used as a plot device more than a place of rejuvenation.

Continue reading: Hide And Seek Review

Ari Schlossberg

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