Allison Lyon Segan

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Shark Tale Review


OK
It would be really interesting to see what an R-rated version of Shark Tale might encompass. All the mafia-related gags might hold more punch. The subplot, involving one shark's disappointment in his son, might reveal what a PG version can only hint at. As it is, though, we're left with a kids' film that, while consistently funny, is more cute than clever.

The story begins when Oscar (Will Smith), a working-class fish with fame and fortune on the brain, runs afoul of his boss, Sykes (Martin Scorsese), a puffer fish with the largest eyebrows known to aquaria. Deep in debt, Oscar is taken out to pasture by Sykes' Jamaican jellyfish goons (a hilarious Ziggy Marley & Doug E. Doug). Enter Lenny (Jack Black), a shy shark out on a mission to be toughened up by his brother Frankie (Michael Imperioli) on behalf of his shark mob boss dad, Don Lino (Robert De Niro). One thing leads to another, and suddenly it appears as if Oscar has slain Frankie.

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Swimfan Review


Terrible
Erika Christensen goes from zoned-out druggie (Traffic) to lame vanilla psycho in Swimfan, unequivocally one of the worst films of the year.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. A cute young gal named Madison (Christensen) moves to a New Jersey town and instantly becomes smitten with star swimmer Ben (Jesse Bradford). But there's trouble: Ben's got a girlfriend (Shiri Appleby), and he's got a rough past... trouble with drugs and a stint in juvie. Now he's cleaned up and is eyeing a scholarship to Stanford, but an ill-conceived one-nighter with Madison lands him in all kinds of trouble once again.

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One Night at McCool's Review


Grim
There are three things that are laugh-worthy in the Farrelly Brothers wannabe, One Night at McCool's: a greasy pompadour-ed Michael Douglas mimicking a blowjob by flapping one of cheeks/jowls with his index finger and thumb, Andrew "Dice" Clay (yes, this is for real), and Paul Reiser meeting a nasty end. And one of these bits is already given away in the TV ads. Thankfully, it's the one that I personally find the most redeeming moment of this generally unlikable movie.

While There's Something About Mary was clever and funny, it has unfortunately spawned some extremely bad imitators that take increasingly lower roads to getting laughs. McCool's definitely has slid the taste meter down a few notches, and it doesn't even pay off. Even for those of us who get a kick out of dumb and vulgar gags, this latest poseur has nothing else to prop it up. The plot is never once fun or engrossing. The characters are repellant, and not even in an entertaining or over-the-top way. And the comedy relies way too heavily on us chuckling at an Oscar winner dressed in a ridiculous pimp-like get-up and regularly using the "P" word, or Reiser scampering around in nothing but S&M bondage gear and leather chaps.

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