Allan Kaufman

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The Whole Nine Yards Review


Very Good
Let the record state that I expected the worst from The Whole Nine Yards. February release date, the girl from Species (all right, so that was the good part), Bruce Willis (again) attempting comedy. As a Magic Eight Ball would tell us, "outlook not so good."

Let the record also state that, while watching a bad movie, I either carry a scribble pad or make mental notes of possible pot shots that I can shoot off at the movie in my review. Since I am afforded no "possible insult" rating system, I translate the pot shots into stars. For about every ten easy insults a film gives me, I subtract a star from its rating (barring Airplane!, which is designed to cooperate with the pot shot system and thus is immune to its barbs). The Whole Nine Yards gave me thirteen pot shots. Rounding, we get our current star rating.

Continue reading: The Whole Nine Yards Review

The Whole Ten Yards Review


Terrible
The Whole Ten Yards is an awful movie. And yet, as bad as it is, I think I may have learned something from it. According to Bruce Willis's Jimmy Tudeski, every car built since 1985 has a trunk release! Did you know that? Of course, that bit of information may actually be BS. And in the context of this movie, it wouldn't surprise me. This lame sequel to the original hit is about as witless as Jimmy's nutty automotive gibberish.

In the sequel to the sleeper hit The Whole Nine Yards, Jimmy has abandoned his hit-man lifestyle and is enjoying retirement with his new wife Jill (Amanda Peet) in their quiet Baja hideout. He's content sharpening his Martha Stewart homemaking skills by cooking pot roasts, caring for his pet chickens, and cleaning house. But this way of life doesn't work for Jill. She wants to reprise her husband's previous life, and desires nothing more than to shoot a worthy piece of ass. Meanwhile, back in the states, Jimmy's former neighbor, Oz Oseransky (Matthew Perry) has relocated to Los Angeles where his dental practice and marriage to Jimmy's ex-wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) appears to be thriving.

Continue reading: The Whole Ten Yards Review

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Allan Kaufman Movies

The Whole Nine Yards Movie Review

The Whole Nine Yards Movie Review

Let the record state that I expected the worst from The Whole Nine Yards....

The Whole Ten Yards Movie Review

The Whole Ten Yards Movie Review

The Whole Ten Yards is an awful movie. And yet, as bad as it is,...

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